Reflections from Kate McDonough, Pride in the Pulpit, 2/12/12 " Beyond The Binary Speech"

Ever been forced to do something you hated when you were a child? You know, that one thing that everyone said you had to do, but you just knew in your heart you simply didn’t want to do? For me it was wearing dresses; absolutely hated wearing dresses. In fact, I remember the last time my parents put me in a dress. I was two years old and it was Christmas morning. My mother called me into her bedroom to get dressed for grandma’s house, which was incredibly exciting because it meant that I was getting more presents. However, my excitement quickly melted away when I realized that my mother—without my knowledge or consent—had put me in a red velvet dress. In sudden protest I screamed “no dress!”and darted into the hallway, still screaming “no dress!” as I weaved in and out of my mother’s attempts to catch me. Finally, my mom gave up and retired to her bedroom, but I wasn’t done. I ran into the bathroom where my father was, pushed open the door and in one final plea I screamed “no dress!” as I fell to the floor, began crying and then abruptly fell asleep. We have to be who we are, and I think we can all relate to how both physically and emotionally exhausting it is for everyone involved when one is prevented that joy.

I can honestly say that I am very happy today. I am happy today because throughout my life, my family has stood by me and given me the support I needed to embrace my identity and bring my whole self to any situation. In turn, because I am not put through the exhaustion of having to fight for the acknowledgement of my existence, I’ve been able to thrive personally and professionally. Many of my transgender friends are not as lucky- both in terms of family support and acceptance within a broader society.

The harsh realities of transphobia are heartbreaking. A recent report showed that three out of four transgender New Yorkers experienced harassment or mistreatment on the job. A staggering three quarters of transgender youth in New York State reported being harassed in school and many leave as a result. 17% of people were refused medical care due to their gender identity or expression. A report released by the Empire State Pride Agenda showed that more than one third of transgender New Yorkers have been homeless at one time and over one fifth have incomes under $10,000 a year.

Within these numbers lies the human face of some amazing people, who have great gifts to offer. There is my first supervisor at Pride Agenda, who took a chance on a nervous 23 year old he saw potential in. I owe so much of my professional development to him. He is currently studying to be a rabbi and I’m excited to see who else’s potential he will help to foster. There is my best friend who has always provided me with insightful advice even when it’s 1am and it’s a topic I’ve brought up at least ten times already. This friend is an educator, and has the ability to enrich so many with meaningful advice. There’s my boyfriend who is such a beautiful tender soul and can always bring a smile to my face regardless of how stressful the day is, which plays a key role in keeping me sane. He’s a nanny and I sleep a little better at night know that he plays a part in shaping the attitudes of the generation to come.

However, as amazing as these people are, New York State has yet to pass a law that protects them from discrimination and gives them the support needed to be who they are and enrich our lives in the process. We can change that. For many years the Empire State Pride Agenda has worked to pass the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act or GENDA for short. It’s a transgender non discrimination law that would make it illegal to fire someone from their job, deny them housing or refuse them hospital care just for being who they are. This is a bill whose time has come, but we can’t pass it without your help. There are three ways you can be helpful today: 1. Sign a postcard in support of this legislation that we will deliver to your state senator. 2. If you want to do more, speak to me about becoming a community ambassador, which is a trained activist who can be a leader in their community on this issue- we have trainings throughout this month and early march. 3. Join us in Albany on Tuesday, May 8^th for Equality and Justice Day, which is our yearly advocacy day. We cannot say we are truly equal until all are protected under the law. Together we can make that happen.