© Rev. Susan Karlson
December 2, 2012
Unitarian Church of Staten Island
Since Sandy hit our
shores, generosity is not scarce. People
are opening up their homes, their wallets, and giving their time, their sweat
and whatever they have. I meet people
who lost everything—their cars, their houses, and their jobs yet they are out
there on the streets in their neighborhood, dishing out hot food, finding a
pair of shoes for someone who no footwear, connecting people with information
on assistance or resources. Generosity
is abundant these days.
And yet, I also meet with
people who are worn out, fatigued beyond belief, who hit the wall which I hit
myself about a month ago. When you are
out there, impassioned, feeling the suffering of people, you can get pretty out
of touch with taking a break, eating, drinking water. Your brain gets fuzzy and you can even get to
the point where you can’t speak coherently or think things through. And so, Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, “doing
what we can, with what we have, where we are”, seems appropriate right
now.
Over the summer, Alan and I took a road trip
back to the places where I grew up and other places where my family came from,
winding up in one of our favorite cities in Savannah, Georgia. One of the things that made it stand out was
that we read and worked on our Generosity Plan together through the hours we
spent in the car. And we have continued
working on our separate plans and our joint plans on our days off together.
I first heard author, Kathy
LeMay, at Middle Collegiate last spring when she spoke to an interfaith
conference on igniting social justice through worship and the arts. Kathy was one of the last speakers we heard
and one of the most powerful. And she
was talking about philanthropy—as she is a consultant to philanthropists, not
an incredibly interesting subject, I would imagine. Yet Kathy spoke with passion and humor,
sharing stories from her life and her deep convictions. She takes philanthropy way out of the
province of millionaires and billionaires; so that philanthropy and generosity
are something for all of us. She shares
the true sense of the Greek word, “philanthropos”—“humanity, benevolence, or
loving of humankind” and “leading with generosity is the “habit of giving, especially when it
feels out of your comfort zone, a little nerve-wracking, and down right
terrifying.” (p. 209)
One of the first tasks in
forming a generosity plan is to look back at your giving history. What were your earliest experiences with
philanthropy—giving as Theodore Roosevelt described, “doing what I can, with
what I have, where I am”? I discovered
that I really loved being with people—not just writing a check or filling in
forms but taking a lily to my great uncle’s 96 year old mother, walking door to
door collecting for charities, talking to my neighbors while my cat walked with
me, pausing when I stopped at the next neighbor’s house. Visiting the state mental hospital with my
church youth group and discovering how they were treated. These were things that were foundational to
who I was, what moved and shaped me as a person and in my ethos on giving and
offering something back.
Looking at our giving
roots can put us in touch with what matters most to us while articulating a
vision can keep us focused on what calls out to us from deep within. When we find what resonates most within us,
we can say “no” to some cause that others will find high priorities. There is no competition with one person’s
vision versus another. There is no right
or wrong. There is just what calls out to us to be done and what will keep
fueling us over the course of our lifetimes.
“I envision a world in
which women can exercise their power to provide for themselves and their
families and diverse races, cultures and species create the beloved community
together.” I am most interested in
working within faith communities, education and community based programs and
initiatives, first close to home and then spreading outward to the
international level that I am a part of.
Alan’s vision is one in
which “human beings understand their place in the environment and can adapt
toward a sustainable culture.” The
emphasis in our visions is different but when we talked about generosity, we
saw lots of overlap in how we would choose to volunteer and how we would give
of our time, talent and treasure.
We might try volunteering
or giving most generously to particular organizations or efforts, only to find
that those do not really fit our vision or our priorities. Devising a generosity plan has helped us to
understand ourselves and one another better and reinforce the values we hold
most dear.
Religions often make
people feel guilty. We should do more,
give more, be at another level of giving and volunteering. The truth is that just doesn’t work for the
long haul. Burn out is not the goal of
generosity. Generosity gives enough on
its own.
I met a man the other
night at one of the sites giving out meals and supplies on the South Shore, day
and night. He gave me permission to tell
his story. He said that it is difficult
to sleep because when he closes his eyes, he sees the images of all the people
floating in the surge waters that he could not save. All of those bodies that
washed through the streets the next day. Intellectually, he knows he did all he
could but his heart feels differently.
During this time of crisis and catastrophe with
so many of our fellow Staten Islanders suffering, with people throughout New
York and New Jersey trying with all their might to just survive, it is
difficult to feel we are doing enough.
We judge ourselves harshly. We
feel angry when our friends and family volunteer and we are left alone. We may look at someone cleaning out homes and
feel our work writing a check or giving a donation is not doing nearly enough. We may wish that we didn’t have asthma or
some other health condition that prevents us from volunteering more
actively. Even doing our best may not
feel like it is enough.
But it is enough. We are enough. We need to put into place a Generosity Plan
in our lives that demonstrates what we care about most and then follow it,
changing it whenever necessary. We may
need to meet with others in Generosity Clubs that can research charities and opportunities
to fulfill our vision and the causes that are our highest priorities. And perhaps, most of all, we need to work
together— like Castleton Moravian, Christ Church and this church did during the
first weeks after the storm. We need to
find ways to stand in solidarity with the sites that may be closed down when
they are serving people that need hot meals and supplies. We need to ask ourselves what is mine to do
and what is not mine to do. And be ok
with that.
In this season of Giving, I think back to
Unitarian Charles Dickens’ Christmas
Carol and the transformed character of Ebeneezer Scrooge: “He became as good a friend, as good a
master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old
city, town, or borough, in the good old world.”
And so may it be with all of us—trusting in our own worth, “doing what
we can, with what we have, where we are.”
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